THIS will heal

could you kiss me when the lights are dim? let it be our secret. let it happen only once. let us imagine it as it is, greater than it would be if we knew it would happen again.

speak of it through song. through the growing of trees. a whisper in the ear of a restless child.

feel me on your lips every shooting star and i will hold you in my smile whenever it rains.

if we meet again, allow us to meet for the first time. share new secrets and bind them with fingers,

located on hands,

located on the back of our necks.

My mother’s breath gets heavy with the thought of loss Her first born spending more time away from home than in the security of her arms She hounds me like wolves serenading moon As if her song could keep me from leaving at night

I hold her under my chin Attempt to calm the huricane in her throat My hand circulating the wind through her lungs like my palm was the push and pull of the tide I dont want to see her drown

But her breath gets heavy sometimes Like she forgot how to swim the day I was born How the whole world is an ocean and the only raft is in her hug

But I just hold her under my chin Tell her to feel the son on her forehead While I split sea’s with my hands

I will grow like sunlight on cement

After it has risen over mountain 

After cloud has floated by

There are times I forget where I am

Like my presence is still as the world around me passes by

I forget at times that this body is not my own

Just an instrument for the music within me

But I often play off key

Forgetting to tune my body with myself

I don’t believe that my lungs were once gills

Except when they were 

And I taste ocean with deep breathes

The salt of the water absorbing my tears

The schools of life swimming in my stomach 

If there is a place for me beyond this Earth

I do not imagine it is too different than the warmth of my mother’s love

Or compassion in my father’s voice

It will rain my sister’s laughter and I will not hesitate to get wet

Like I do now.

leave it to the young folk I work with to remind me of that :)

I’ve been away for a while. Not just here but in my own body and mind. I’m going to try and start moving toward where I know I deserve to be. Slowly but surely.